Drone Wars

drones and birds - the future of American advertising

Drones are much more profitable when they fly low and wear advertising.  At the same time, their loudspeakers can remind us to stop for a coffee.

(Like today’s evangelical highway gas pumps — but flying.)

Who knows?  Just as so-called computers have evolved primarily into communication devices, with accounting and payroll only vestigial organs, drones may evolve into commerce-enhancing herding animals, er, I mean Guidance Companions, with the occasional friendly or fearsome payload a mere bonus.

(I wouldn’t think of going anywhere without my GC, would you?)

But the real progress will come from biotechnology.  We will all be happier, smarter consumers when birds are bred with billboard camouflage and can sing us individualized jingles from nearby treetops.

The cooing of the Dunkin’ Donuts pigeons will blend in with the whistling of the Crispy Creme sparrows, both still audible beneath the warbling of the Starbucks mockingbird.

And all the while, their evasive maneuvers will create delightful, colorful patterns as they avoid the talons of the Google coffee-delivery-drone…

…and it will be… BEAUTIFUL!

Of course there will always be Luddites, those dark-frocked, bearded, big-nosed opponents of all that is progressive.

Consider this message a short-lived expression of the freedom we feel on Pesach.


(With apologies to Christopher Lloyd, as Dr. Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)

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